In Lice, Clues to Human Origin and Attire
Now, the article mostly focuses on how humans have three lice species: head, body, and pubic, and how the body louse points to the gradual loss of human fur, and how that led to the body louse's evolution, since it shelters not in skin, but in clothes.
But, and the NYT kind of skips around this delicately, I find it most interesting that the gorilla louse and the human pubic louse are related, given the rather intimate way that this louse is passed from host to host.
Even bleaker for the human reputation, the pubic louse, which gets its dates and residence-swapping opportunities when its hosts are locked in intimate embrace, does not seem to be a true native of the human body. Its closest relative is the gorilla louse (Don't even think about it.)
...
"The transfer doesn't have to be sexual," he said, "but presumably it does require a reasonably blose contact."
Yes, it would appear plausible that our ancestors were the bitches of gorillas, gentle reader. If being descended from apes (or, as they like to say, "monkeys") isn't enough of an indignity for the fundamentalists, then being the possible fuckbuddies of gorillas has to be even worse a blow to the pride of the human species.
I think it's funny. The article points out that our head lice are apparently related to the chimp louse, and our pubic lice to the gorilla louse, with the body louse being our own special type that adapted to our relatively furless biological real estate.
So, our heads belonged to the chimps, but our asses apparently belonged to the gorillas. Which makes sense, really -- gorillas are far stronger than humans, way stronger than our ancestors would've been. Bahaah!
Music: Suede, "Animal Nitrate"
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